Tuna fish & lentil Salad

Preferably eaten at lunchtime, so that if it induces excessive farting, it gives u a chance to wake up in peace the next morning !! INGREDIENTS: (serves two)

• a jar of lentils
• a tin of tuna fish
• a punnet of cherry tomatoes
• half an onion or 2 spring onions
• a spoonful of honey
• a spoonful of old grain mustard
• extra virgin olive oil (preferably 0.1 acidity)
• balsamic vinegar

INSTRUCTIONS: Pour a good amount of the olive oil into a bowl and add some balsamic vinegar. Add a t.spoon of honey and a t.spoon of mustard. Mix it all up throughly. Chop the onions into fine cubes or thin slices as u wish and add and mix. Cut the cherry tomatoes into quarters and add to the bowl. Drain the lentils from the jar and mix them with the contents of the bowl. Finally drain the oil from the tin of tuna fish and add to the salad. Grind some fresh pepper to taste.

Octopus Salad

Perhaps one should not really eat Octopus any more as its considered a highly intelligent lifeform (eating Octopussy is fine though !) INGREDIENTS: (Serves one)

• 1 tin of Octopus
• ¼ courgette
• lettuce & spinach leaves
• a sheet of seaweed
• pickled ginger
• toasted sesame seeds
• extra virgin olive oil (0.1 acidity if possible)
• dark soya sauce
• ¼ lemon

INSTRUCTIONS: Pour some olive oil into a bowl, whack in the lettuce and spinach leaves. Slice the courgette into fine strips & drain the oil from the octopus tin and chop it up. Add the octopus to the contents of the bowl, followed by the courgette strips. Then shred the seaweed into small bits and add to the bowl , with a few slices of pickled ginger (as per your taste). Pour a little soya sauce over the contents and toss it all up. Finally sprinkle some sesame seeds over the salad and squeeze the lemon over it .Add some salt and lots of pepper! (It may sound disgusting , but will appeal to those with a experimental,savoury palate, or as the Redhead says, a non-selective taste palate !)